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What I Couldn’t Learn In School

I didn’t have the typical college experience. I didn’t get to live in a dorm, party, or make new friends. But I’m not bitter about it. I attended the city college in my town. I began working for my mother at her group home. The city college was basically a bigger version of my high school. People hung around that didn’t even go there. After the first three weeks students would just disappear. I felt so ready and scared when I first began school and I really thought I had it figured out. But of course, I didn’t and like many others I struggled because I just didn’t know what I was doing there. I hated it. I never wanted to go and I just felt like it was a waste of time. So I dropped out. Through the years this has been a pattern of mines. And I created a lot of debt because of it. I blame myself for that. I rushed it. I couldn’t figure it out fast enough. There were so many things I wanted to be! A writer, a fashion designer, blogger, business owner, so many things. And I couldn’t figure out what major would help me be able to do these things without restricting me to one job. I just started feeling empty, like maybe I was aiming too high. I would tell myself ,just be a teacher, or a nurse, at least you’ll have a job. Then I realized that there is no reason I can’t be and do whatever the fuck I want. There are too many ways to build a career, a brand, a whole ass business around YOU. I refuse to spend my life frantically trying to catch up for lost time, having regrets. I realized I rather struggle doing what makes me happy then barely get by,by doing what makes me fucking miserable. I didn’t give myself the chance to explore other options. So, I kept starting over and making the same mistakes. Now I’m trying something different. So many people leave their jobs and start new careers. So many people wish they would’ve done this or that. I was miserable in school. I honestly hated it. I wanted to own a business, write, travel, and have time to myself. No one was teaching me how to do that. They were teaching me how to be an employee. This is not a school is evil, fuck the system kind of post. This is my experience. This is why I don’t see myself going back to college anytime soon. Maybe later in life, but for now, it isn’t an option. If you don’t see it being beneficial for you then that’s ok. Don’t feel pressured. Don’t lose yourself in the “American Dream”. That dream has changed. Our generation has gotten creative. There is a path for you trust me.

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